OMG

My last blog was 48 hours into my stay in Antepartum in the hospital. Gabriel and I were stable the next 48 hours as well. Boredom was starting to set in for mom and I. By friday night (the fourth day) we were seriously contemplating taking shots of chocolate milk while watching Kevin Costner in Robin Hood on VHS. Neither one of us was sleeping either. Our night schedule went something like this: sleep by 10pm, wake between 2 and 3, get some hot tea, maybe sleep again between 5 and 7am. Every morning the nurses monitored Gabriel’s heart rate for half an hour to see if it was dropping at all. Every afternoon the perinatologist (who took a special interest in us and went out of her way multiple times…thank you from the bottom of my heart) came to do a sonogram and check Gabe’s heart function, my amniotic fluid levels, and the doppler flow (the blood flow between Gabriel and I). We were taking each day at a time. As long as the sono wasn’t showing a reversal of doppler flow, then we were given one more day. Everyday we celebrated Gabriel staying with me, as long as my body was able to provide for him more than the NICU could. God really taught me patience in that.

Day 4 was particularly exciting. Gabe’s heart rate showed a slight drop, which prompted the perinatologist to see me earlier than usual. As she was concentrating on the sono, my anxiety level was through the roof. That would normally be fine, except it was coupled with low blood sugar, a serious drop in blood pressure, a hot room, and poor circulation as I was laying on my back and Gabe was laying on top of a major artery. I almost passed out, which concerned the perinatologist, but since Gabriel was still doing well, she gave us another day.

Saturday morning rolled around (5 days after being admitted) and mom and I went on our morning walk. Gabriel felt fine to me, he was even a little more active than normal. Mom and I were discussing our saturday night party plans…the peek of which were going to be 9/11 tributes on TV. About 11am the perinatologist came (she wasn’t on call that weekend, but drove to the hospital just to see us). She did about a 30 minute scan and was saying that everything looked stable so far. The last thing she checked…and OMG, there it was…the beginning of the reversal of doppler flow. She said, “this is what we’ve been looking for, I think we need to move towards delivery.” And just like that, the reality of being a mommy and having a son smacked me in the face. Within 5 minutes, she made phone calls to my substitute OB (my OB was out sick), the neonatologist, cardiologist, respiratory therapist, and NICU. My c-section was scheduled for 2 hours later.

No time was wasted in getting me prepped. In an hour and a half I changed into a hospital gown, had an IV placed, was transferred to the prep room, strapped with 2 monitors for Gabriel, had 5 tubes of blood drawn, had my epidural put in, and was wheeled into the operating room.

God prepared me specifically for those 2 hours. I had WAY more peace about it than my mom 🙂 … or maybe more naivete. Whether it was a miraculous peace or naivete, besides being shaky, I held it together until the doctors pulled the drape in front of my face and let me mom in. The fear, anxiety, and anticipating the complete unknown of how Gabriel was doing all set in at once. My mom held my hand and we cried. About 8 minutes into my c-section, the OB said, “we’re 60 seconds away.” … OMG

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