I met with the pediatric general surgeon today who would be operating on Gabriel to fix his duodenal atresia. I don’t know yet if Gabriel will need heart surgery before his duodenal atresia is fixed, just have to wait to find that out.
The appointment was not nearly as heart wrenching as I had anticipated it would be yesterday. In fact, the surgeon was very reassuring and informative. Unfortunately, there is no way for the surgeon to guess recovery time or the extent of complications because the severity of such complications is so varied. He could be in the hospital from a few weeks to several months, according to the surgeon. The unknown is eating at me.
The more I am at the hospital and meeting the people who will be caring for Gabriel, the more comfortable and at peace I’m becoming. He has a fantastic group of doctors and people to care for him. I was contacted by the hospital’s Fetal Coordinator whose sole job is to make sure that “moms like me” have everything we need. I’ve got an appointment to sit down with a team of doctors who will be caring for Gabriel daily and to tour the NICU center.
The “moms like me” comment had my head in a bit of a whirl. The lady was really sweet; I knew she meant nothing but reassurance. She said, “moms like you…who are expecting children with any diagnosis.” She read a list of Gabriel’s diagnoses. The length of that list is what bothered me. He doesn’t have one diagnosis. He doesn’t have two. He has three diagnoses…and we’re only 22 weeks into my pregnancy. That’s not fair.
I’m praying for no more diagnoses, but resting in the peace that if he does have more complications, all of this is not a mistake. God didn’t just look away for a minute and say, “Whoops!” He knew these things would happen and has been preparing me for the last 22 years. And for that, I can find peace.
Today is a better day.