I had an appointment two days ago with my OB…I’ve had a different appointment three days in a row, its exhausting. This appointment was the first one I had with my OB since finding out that Gabriel has Downs and duodenal atresia (I had yet to learn about the hole in his heart).
I was called from the waiting room by a nurse in her mid-thirties…Bubbly McBubblerson. She walked me to the room and asked how my pregnancy was going. Before I could finish my sentence that my pregnancy was going fantastically buuuuut….she cut me off and awfully cheerily talked about her own pregnancies. She had gained so much weight with her boy but barely anything with her girls and loved being pregnant and had such easy pregnancies!!! I didn’t say anything. Maybe I should have said something so she could take it as one of those humbling embarrassing moments and learn from it.
To the nurse in my OB’s office:
My pregnancy has been going fantastically. I’ve had it easy, except for the birth defects and genetic anomalies that came out of noooowhere…and the emotions that have ensued and entrenched every cell of my body.
To the nurse in my OB’s office…and to you:
Ask questions and genuinely listen.
Talk less, ask more, listen most.
Don’t assume, period.
Don’t be indifferent. Indifference stings.
Don’t tell me you are sorry about the Downs…it’s not something to pity, be sad about, shameful of, or embarrassed for.
Don’t tell me it will be easy. It won’t.
Don’t tell me it will be too hard. It won’t.
Don’t tell me to abort. You’re still here.
On the flipside, thank you to those who support, pray for, believe in, and let me vent. I will need all of that for the rest of my life. Everyone does.